Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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