She's JV to your varsity
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
