I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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