Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
