You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize