Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
