Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
