Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
