literally had 100 drinks last night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
