Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Randomize
