Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
