he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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