Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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