On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
