Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
