That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
