I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You can't special order awesome
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
