Cold hands, warm shart.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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