even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
