Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
