they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
bring money and cleavage
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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