the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
