maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
being pregnant is like rehab
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
