The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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