WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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