You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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