I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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