I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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