This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
