I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
