If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Welp...herpes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize