Where did you get a picture of my penis
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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