I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you win again, gameday.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
