I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
