wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
