You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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