i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
