Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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