"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
