NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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