Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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