just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
