Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
