she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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