my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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