Soap is not a condiment
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
