First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
