so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
