I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
