i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
