i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
