Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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