the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
