Your tits are I can't wait for
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nicole vs. Life
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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