Your tits are I can't wait for
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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