Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
