I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
