i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just invented taco cereal.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
