morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They have beer where we have blood.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
