NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
