Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The uberlube is also flammable
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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