Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
