I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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