is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
