careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
