i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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