She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize