and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
