i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
