she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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