A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
